Jamar Hornsby and You, Friend

"Everything that keeps me together is falling apart / I've got this
thing that I consider my only art (of fucking people over)."

Modest Mouse, 3rd Planet

Oh boy. You guys heard about this. We know you did because we read the boards and the blogs and the papers and we saw that everybody got their digs in on Jamar Hornsby after he got arrested in Starkville recently for suspected involvement in a brawl and petit larceny.

We wanna start by saying that we were against signing this guy in the first place. That thing he did back in Florida with the credit card and the dead friend and whatnot still kinda stinks. And we thought it was buttarded that Ole Miss people wanted to believe that the credit card thing was just a misunderstanding back then, and we hope they feel silly now.

And we want you to know that we aren't above having a laugh at others' expense, either. We laughed just as out-loudily as anybody when the Hogvillians melted down after Ryan Mallett got his Public Intox. We even tested out our internet skillz to mixed results - that we never thought we'd show you.

'Cause of the self-righteous sneer, right? Get it?

But let's get one thing straight, gang: Jamar Hornsby's situation is flat out sad. Here is a human being who just pissed away one of the brightest futures anybody on the planet could hope to have because someone rear ended his car. I'm Ok with everyone getting their laughs in, because this guy really deserves it. He fucked up royally, and assaulted another human in the process. So laugh away, but understand that this kid's once promising future is forever tainted.

Let's not beat around the bush: Jamar Hornsby does not need to be on the Ole Miss football team next year. He was extended a second chance at wealth and prominence and influence, which is two more than most get, and he got in his own way, and now we don't owe him anything. I don't care how good he is. He should not be on our team next year.

But to those of you who are rooting for the DA here, who are hoping he rots away in a Florida penitentiary somewhere (which is highly likely), please understand that Hornsby obviously has a schewed sense of right and wrong. We're talking about a kid who sold all of his family and friend tickets to strangers at marked up prices while at Florida, a clear violation of NCAA rules for which Florida was penalized. But what does that say that he had no one in his life who gave a damn enough to come watch him play football in front of 90,000 fans for the eventual National Champion? Our mothers were there for every second of winter league 1A Parochial High School soccer, standing often in the freezing rain to watch a 0-0 tie in a sport they knew little to nothing about. Christ, we have a sister who erupts in applause every time her newborn makes a poopy.

And the use of a dead friend's credit card, no matter the details, shows a blatant irreverence for life and disconnect from what it is to be a human. This latest transgression in a parking lot in Starkville is only further proof that Hornsby has some serious issues. And the sad part is that if he doesn't know right from wrong by now, he likely never will. What's even more depressing is that probably doesn't even bother him.

So get your giggles in at the Fulmer Cup and all that, gang, but don't fool yourself into believing that this is just some evil asshole who deserves the worst. Evil's a mighty heavy adjective, and it's also rarely accurate. And if you think that you weren't born to trouble as the sparks fly up; Weren't saved by fortune and circumstance and grace, well then, you're just as delusional as Hornsby, brother.