On Ole Miss vs. MSU

Firts off, if the first thing that came to your mind when you saw the title of this post was "OMG maybe he's got some info on Patterson!!!!", you're in luck. I've got the real lowdown on old PP's whereabouts last night, and what bars and ladies he hit up, and who his player hosts were and what his latest lean is (spoiler alert: the news is good!!!) right here.

Now, on to the basketball game tomorrow at the Hump. I debated for the longest time about how much I was even going to write about basketball this year, but want to go ahead and flesh this game out. The reasoning is that even though all signs point to the Rebs getting blown out at the Hump tomorrow, Forward Rebels has always been of the mindset that you can't just pick and choose when to acknowledge rivalries. You can't say the games don't matter when you're the heavy underdog (although, let's not get carried away gang, because there's really nothing that can happen tomorrow that would make up for 45-0).

And make no mistake, Ole Miss has a few things going for them. Namely, the Whites have found their game - particularly Terrico. This kid, as a freshman, has shown flashes of scary-goodness. His posterization of three Kentucky players on Tuesday night had me spewing wine all over my computer screen. The guy can do a ton of things on offense - slash, mid-range shot, the three ball.

And Malcolm, for the first time I can recall in his year and a half at Ole Miss, was finally the beast that he was initially made out to be. He fought and won rebounds. He showed some aptitude with his back to the basket. Most importantly, he showed some controlled, technical offensive capability - meaning that he broke the Jermey Parnell mode of "make one Sportcenter highlight reel play, then finish the game with four points and three boards." To avoid that Parnell pigeonhole, he went so far as to not make the SC Top 10, unlike Terrico and Murphy Holloway. Showoffs.

Skyoos meee.

Anyhow, if those two show up again, and if E.T.Veed can put up 25, we oughta stand a fighter's chance. Except that the game's at the Hump. And for whatever reason, SEC basketball road-home splits are ridiculously slanted in favor of the home team. Somebody smarter than me should reallly try to figure out why collegiate basketball splits are that way, as opposed to other college sports or professional basketball. It really is curious, but I digress.



Varnado will be too much for Big Mac when we have the ball, and we can't expect to shoot lights out from the outside every game. Also, as much as I hate to say it, I don't think we need to read too much into the win over Kentucky. Essentially we found their "Harangody factor." Remember when Notre Dame was all bad ass at basketball a few weeks back, and then like Seton Hall or someone figured out if you box and one on Harangody they can't score, and then Notre Dame hasn't won a game since? Well Kennedy was the first one to figure that out about Jodie Meeks. Don't be surprised to see UK go .500 or worse from here on out.



Anyway, as stated before, we're on the road in a very hostile environment with a very young team. That's the difference, in the end.



My prediction: Dogs 76, Ole Miss 64



Just for shiggles, if you're going to be drinking with friends while watching the game, take a shot everytime DeAundre Cranston falls down, sucker punches someone or commits a goofy foul. Then have someone put you in a cold shower.

In the Dirt

Last week I was talking to someone about Ole Miss baseball and the conversation shifted to the UCLA series last year (two years ago?) when some Rebel fans who made the trip to Los Angeles got ejected. The guy I was talking with recounted the hilarious story. The reason for the ejection was partially because of the "Throw it in the dirt! Dirt!" cheer while the Bruins were pitching.

"I heard about that guy getting ejected," I said.

"Nah. It wasn't the throw-it-in-the-dirt-guy. That guy wasn't there. It was just us," said the kid.

I would venture a guess that 75% of Ole Miss fans would understand who "the throw-it-in-the-dirt-guy" meant. Like me, though, the vast majority of them would only know him as a stubbornly persistent and funny gutterally-southern accented voice coming from Section I of the grand stands at Swayze Field. I wouldn't know the guy from Adam. So I don't really know why I'm writing about the news of his death here on this stupid website.

Chip Clinton, the guy who faithfully started and insisted on your participation in the "throw it in the dirt" chants for as long as I can remember, died today. From what few and unreliable sources I have read, he apparently committed suicide.

On a personal note this is just the latest in a string of terribly depressing bad news that has really only affected the peripheral edges of my life beginning with the New Year. Which is to say, a lot of my friends are going through some rough shit right now. Plus I'm in one of these god-awful C rate hotel and resort casinos in bum-fuck Louisiana, and I just watched Benjamin Button, which put a lump in my throat a few times, and dammit, shit's melancholic right now.

But Clinton's passing would deserve a mention even if I wasn't in a depressive funk. Clinton, after all, is a Rebel of note. Jeff Roberson agrees. He saw fit to relay the news over on the Spirit page.

No, Clinton wasn't Jimmy-two-bits or whatever the guy at Florida is called. Mercifully, Ole Miss doesn't have an advanced enough sports marketing department to manufacture a Jimmy-two-bits. He wasn't even a Whiskey Alley-ite, though I suspect he approved of those guys during the O years.

Clinton was just a collegiate baseball fan, which is about as American as anybody can get. And in a genuine and grass-roots type of way, he brought some enthusiasm to a program that was incidentally on the verge of becoming big and unique and utterly endearing. To paraphrase from Bob Marley, he struck the hammer while the iron was hot. He presided over a time period that saw our University break attendance records and regularly host post-season play. And he helped usher in an attitude that sometimes our fan base desperately lacks, which is to say, he demonstrated that its ok to actually give a shit about the game as opposed to say, your dress or the burgers on the grill.

Anyhow, this guy who few of us ever met is gone, and I can say without hesistation that he will be missed at baseball games. May God keep him. And may we remember that everybody is fighting some type of battle, and consequently everybody deserves basic human compassion.

Unless, of course, they are pitching against the Rebels.


*ED: This was written after some drinks late Monday night, but for whatever reason did not publish, and I didn't notice that until today.

** Hat Tip to ReplayReb of the Spirit boards for the audio link. I don't think I'm supposed to copy and paste from there, but what they don't know can't hurt 'em.

A Sighting of the Demigod Hermanus! (and some dude named Peria)

Apologies for the slow week this week, gang. Things are just now getting back to normal at the office. I'll try to review some of the previous couple of weeks' goings on either today or tomorrow.

In the mean time, after months of googling his name and hanging out at buffets in Baton Rouge, I've finally found some more footage of my man Herman Johnson. Yessssssssssssssssss. Discovering this video on Nafoom today felt like sweet relief.

You'll remember that the last time we saw Big Herm was during CBS's tribute to Him during the inaugural Magnolia Bowl back in November. We found out the guy likes the movie Madagascar and the dessert peach cobbler. Our last glimpse of him was on LSU's last drive, when he showed mercy to DK, remember?

DK was all: bull rush > swim move > spin juke > sack of Jefferson. And Hermanus was all: "Awe, this guy probably wasn't even the biggest baby in his county! Ha! Poor little fella. I'll just pretend to get pushed five yards back and then fall to the ground and let him have this sack on this, my very last play at Tiger Stadium."

Anyhow, it turns out that Hermanus hasn't forgotten his humble ways. At this week's Senior Bowl practices, the Demigod is trying to boost his draft stock, along with Peria and Big Mike, who is also featured in the video (spoiler alert: Big Mike's plays leave a little to be desired). Fast forward to about the 3:50 mark in this video, though, and check out what happens if you move Hermanus inside to OG and ask him to handle the Truth one on one.

HatTip to some dude named VanillaFace on Nafoom.

The Gators and 118 Other 2009 National Champs

There is a predictable movement afoot among our lesser informed fans. "We beat Florida!" they say. "Florida won the BCS! That means WE the Nashnal Champeens, kinda! Right?! Damn Right!"

There are bumper stickers and t-shirts that have something to the effect of "Ole Miss 31 - National Champs 30" written on them. It's pretty stupid. Most people understand that. If I had more time at work today I'd elaborate, but I don't, and Ghost over at the Red Solo Cup already made a pretty fine attempt at stomping this idiocy out.

Anyhow, the reason I bring this back up is because I came across an interesting little internet football calculator today*. Want to take the wind out of the sails of the "sorta National Champions" movement? Tell them that by their reasoning, the University of Alabama-Birmingham is also a BCS champ. Way to Go Blazers!
*Hat tip to Deadspin via College Football Transitive Property.

Let's Talk About Sex, Bay-Bee (?)

I really did have a moral dilemma about this. I'm still not 100% sure I should even be writing about it.

I mean, listen, I know the tone of blogs in general - and this one in particular - is typically snarky and malicious. Believe me, I get that. If you can be a clever enough asshole, more people will laugh at your stuff. And more people will read your stuff. And in some tech-nerdy, silly ass, one-step-below-Star-Trek-fanaticism way, the guy who writes these pointed little malicious "web logs" gets some type of satisfaction out of that.

But even I have reservations about going after somebody's family. So I wouldn't just flippantly spout off about the fact that Kimber Kennedy is taking Mohammed Akbar "Gotta" Jiddou to court because her husband, Andy, presumably can't get it up unless I had good reason.

And that reasoning is sound: Why would somebody publicly air their bedroom, um, shortcomings? Because they are trying to play bluff with a poor immigrant so he'll drop his lawsuit against their husband, that's why. If you think Kimber's lawsuit has anything to do with trying to recuperate some sort of damages from not getting any, then I've got some prime snow skiing property in Greenwood I'd like to sell you. Seriously, not only is this phony ass law suit low class, it's also ridiculously stupid. I mean, I'm no lawyer, but I'm sure there's a less embarassing claim to make - if you're just making shit up anyway - than "Oh, we're not bustin guts enough since you accused my husband of calling you Saddam Hussein."

I love Ole Miss. Love her. But I'm almost envious of student section rowdies at other SEC schools this season. Coming up with clever ways to rip on AK is going to be easier than shooting fish in a barrel.

Get Together...One More Time

Too busy at work today to say much, but its all across the wire: DK will return. I'm off to round up the other Rebs in my office and we're going to youtube the Pride of the South doing From Dixie With Love, and then we'll lock arms and do the Slow Sway like we were in the South Endzone.

DK: And a Good Day to You Too, Sir?

I could think of a thousand reasons for me to leave you...

Well, believe it or not gang, Gregory "DK" Hardy is having trouble making his mind up. I know, I know. It's hard to digest. The same guy who sometimes tries, sometimes wants to embroider towellettes, sometimes forgets his shoes and sometimes knocks the dog-shit out of opposing quarterbacks is being a little indecisive.

My feeling, for what its worth (nothing), is that I'm totally cool with his decision if he decides to opt for the NFL. As much as I try to act like I think Greg Hardy is a Budweiser Leon type of guy, the truth is that I sincerely think the guy has issues. There's a difference between being self-centered and being just a little off your rocker. Anything I've read about Hardy, which admittedly is not much, suggests that the guy has deeper problems than simply not giving a damn about anything but himself.

Without going too deep into things I have only heard about his situation, I think that going to the NFL and getting out from under the influence of others who currently hold sway over him could be the absolute best thing for Greg. And if that were to happen, he could blossom into the every-down beast that he has shown flashes of being throughout his time at Ole Miss.

Vague hearsay aside, I don't think Hardy goes. Not because of some loyalty to Ole Miss or faith in the success of our 2009 season. Not because of Nutt's snake-oil salesmanship at their meeting tomorrow, either. Hardy's too off-kilter to be receptive to rah-rah stuff. No, he'll stay because in order to really cash in on this draft, he'll have to dominate in the NFL combine.

NFL scouts know full well about Hardy's behavior issues. True, the guy's never run afoul of the law or anything like that. But turning pro requires twice the dedication and provides about one fifth of the supervision / coddling. So scouts will be hesitant on him, unless he puts up a combine performance that labels him as a 'can't miss' guy. And we all know that Hardy is more than capable of turning that type of performance in. The guy's a physical freak.

The problem is he'll have to be healthy to do that. And word is that he'll need another surgery on the same ankle. This one could sideline him for as long as four months. That's long enough to miss the combine. So surgery = no combine = mid-to-late-second round pick = Hardy stays.

Of course, I'm going out on a limb to get to another limb to reach the final limb I'm out on here. But that's just how I see this thing playing out. We'll obviously have more on this situation as it develops. If he's going to declare, he's got to do it by Thursday. Stay tuned.

Tracy Rocker: And a Good Day to You, Sir

Defensive Line coach Tracy Rocker goes to Auburn. *Yaaaaaaawwwn* OK sorry. Lets talk about it.

1.) We wish him the best, and can't really blame him. He's going to his alma mater. He has family who live close to Auburn. He got offered 350,0 Wait! What?

2.) He got offered $350,000. From Auburn. To coach their defensive linemen. 2a.) Now we really can't blame him, but 2b.) what in the hell is Auburn doing? Bringing in and overpaying a bunch of exciting but largely unproven assistants does not mask the fact that the guy calling the shots really isn't that good at coaching football. Make no mistake: We would LOVE to be able to pay a position coach $350K. But if we could do that, we probably would splurge a little more on the head guy. Just sayin'.

3.) Last point: we are not losing sleep over this. Rocker's unit was dominant this year. No denying that. But it helps when you've got an All-American senior leading the group. It's not like Jerry was horrible before Rocker got here, either. The kid has been unblockable since early in the 2007 season. I remember listening to the '07 Georgia game on the radio and noticing how many times they called his name. Other people just didn't take notice because we were a terrible team with a losing record. Also, there was an even more dominant player on that defense, remember?

Greg Hardy, for the record, was much better under the Ogre than he was under Rocker. Obviously, you have to factor in injuries and other *ahem* issues. I only bring this up because unwitting Tiger fans will likely attribute Ole Miss's D-line dominance under Rocker to Hardy, because they've heard his name a few times before.

True, Lockett came into his own under Rocker. But Lockett was just a freshman in '07, and couldn't have been expected to contribute at such an early age. If someone wants to argue that Lockett's success is due to Rocker, we could counter that Powe's underwhelming season (at least relative to his initial potential) can also be attributed to Rocker. It'd be a disingenuous argument, but the point is we never do know. We'll see how Lockett develops next year under a different coach. Our guess is that he's even better.

The biggest effect this coaching change will have is this: will it influence Hardy's decision to leave or to stay. We certainly hope he stays. We'll know soon enough.

The second biggest effect, legitimately, is that it gives us a chance to post this ridiculous video that we like to call "The Truth visits the Carnie Folk." Enjoy.

The Angel Timothy Returns: Peria Jerry Chuckles Wistfully

Just a couple'a god-fearin missionaries.

Well, firstly, a hearty apology to diehard Freb fans. The editorial staff here has been on assignment in Texas since the New Year, and unfortunately, that assignment did not involve the beatdown Ole Miss put on Ta Tech in Dallas. We'll certainly post more about that win as we've got some time to kill before baseball -- this basketball season promises to be devoid of anything worthy of writing about. In the meantime:

Yea, verily I say unto thee, the Arch-Angel hath decided to hover in Gaineslehem for next season. Let us all bow our heads.

In a rational sense, this is undeniably good news for Ole Miss. We just wrapped up our home and home with Florida from the east (that turned out ok, I guess), and will be trading them with a very dilapidated Tennessee team next season. So we won't have to see Tebow, unless of course we meet in Atlanta. What's even better is that Arkansas, LSU and Mississippi State will have to take on the reigning BCS Champs during the regular season in 2009. Ergo, a very literal + 1 to Ole Miss's already frighteningly optimistic 2009 SEC West championship campaign. Yay.

But, dear readers, Tebow's announcement means another otherwise joyful football season will be tainted by the media's worship of Tim Tebow. The staff of Frebs was forced to listen to the Nat'l Championship game on ESPN radio, and Kirk Herbstriet's man-crush on Timmy made us blush more than once. On Florida's second TD drive (one dominated by Percy Harvin - you know, the best player on Florida's team) Herbstreit said he thought Urban Meyer had abandoned the no-huddle offense so the rest of the players could see "the fire in Tebow's eyes" in the huddle. He honestly believed that. The staff of Frebs promptly pulled over and vomited on the north-bound shoulder of I-55 at mile marker 62 in the Missouri bootheel.

Also, for the record: exactly what is special or necessary about jumping to throw the football at the goal line? Did the linemen all of a sudden get taller, such that you have to jump above them when you're near the goal line? If television color-guys didn't inexplicably reach orgasm everytime that play happens, do you think Tim would still do the "jump pass"? And finally, is there a man among us who can't hit a wide open receiver from five yards away while jumping? I'm not saying that we're all as talented as Tim Tebow. I'm just saying that announcers going ape-shit over Tim Tebow doing the "jump pass" is silly because the "jump pass" is about as difficult as a free-throw. You don't hear Dick Vitale having an orgasm into the microphone every time Tyler Hansbrough hits a free-throw, do you?

Is this how I do it, Tim? Tee-hee!

Anyhoo, thanks for continuing to check in on Forward Rebels during this lull in posting. Your patience deserves rewarding, and Tebow's ladyfriend* is happy to oblige.

*probably not Tim Tebow's girlfriend, but whatev.

Win Rebels

Win.

Beat these cocky motherfuckers. Beat 'em because you are better than them. Beat them because a Wide Receiver can never control a game.

Beat them because they are disappointed for being there. Beat them because like everybody else, they think the Florida win was a fluke but the Vandy loss was legit.

Beat them because you're better than Baylor. Beat them because you're better than Texas.

Fuck fear. Beat them because you are not scared of a soft ass defense and an offense that you will make one dimensional. Tell them to ask Tim Tebow if you get intimidated. Beat them because the Truth is scarier than the scariest nightmare Graham Harrell has ever had.

Beat them badly.

Win for Patrick Willis. Win because their was an entire class of guys who never got to do what you're about to do. Jason Cook is still there. Win for your captain, even if he's hurt.

Win because there are a hundred thousand fans who have been starved for the better part of the 21st century for an opportunity just like this.

Win.

Win and be nasty. Talk shit. Hurt people. Ruin dreams. Fuck. them. up.

Win because 91.4% of ESPN voters think you can't. Win because their fans don't think you'll keep it close. Do it because you can redeem an entire program today, and expose another in the process.

Win for all the Rebels who came before you. Win for Chucky. Win because its time. It's time.

Win.