Raven's LB Gets Shovey with the Police; Ray Lewis is Not Impressed

But lately your mane's gone white
You itch in your veins in the night
Before you "came home alright"
You wielded the lightning rod

-- Jason Isbell, Soldiers Get Strange

The first time we met Tony Fein was the during the Spring practices leading up to the '07 season. We were passing through the halls in the IPF and Parrish Alford or someone asked this guy a question and his response made our heads turn.

We didn't know him at the time, but when we later found out that he was a good 2 or 3 years older than everyone else on the team, and that he was a veteran of the Iraq war, it made sense that he spoke more confidently and maturely than the rest of the team. He was quite literally a man among boys.

And in his maturity, Fein was one of the first players to send up a red flag about Orgeron that season. His was the first bit of protest against the coach, so in that sense, he was truly a leader on that team. By the time John Jerry got around to bitching about Orgeron in the wake of the Georgia game, most sensible fans were realizing that something was amiss with that team.

Anyhow, it's kind of a curveball to find this article on the front page of ESPN about Tony getting into a shoving match with the Baltimore PD. It sounds like he had reason to be upset. Here's hoping Tony clears up any anger issues he may have and that he can find a spot on the Raven's roster this year. Hopefully he can hook up with Ray Lewis's lawyer.

An Open Letter to Ole Miss

"It's just YOU and ME! Ha Ha!"

Dear Rebels, Collectively,

Listen, I don't know if you guys know this, but we didn't just forget about you, OK? We're not stupid. We don't have alzheimers. Nothing has been forgiven.

So you can stop climbing up on the crows nest and flipping us off already. We're trying to cut you some slack, but you keep taunting us.

So listen, pricks, do you know how a prison guard operates? He doesn't want to seriously injure anyone, but he's forced to demonstrate his authority on occasion. So he billy clubs a little guy in the ribs in the lunch room. Or he domes a stray gang banger with his flashlight. Nothing serious. No emergency room. Just a little love tap. Did you guys like Oz? We did. Aaaaaaaaaaanyhoo...

I just wanted to say hey to you guys, give you a little taste, and to let you know that if we wanted to, we could seriously fuck you up.

All best,

Ralpheus

Eminent Treasurer

The Sports Gods, LLC

Hope for Message Board R-Tards

Listen up, disheartened Spirit board nimrod. We know its been a long offseason. The hype has been heavy. The heat: unbearable.

You got egg on your face when you pulled a 180 on Hornsby, vocally defended him on the interwebs, then had to turn around and condemn him again when he got kicked off the team. It was tough, but you subsequently kept your mouth shut about Tig. Fool me once, right?

Then there was the anxiety of the car wreck. And even after that, if you've been paying attention, you've had to worry about the straight up outlandish behavior and wardrobe that xxxgr3g has put on display this summer.

Just got done tying my shoe. That's what's up.*

It all makes you long wistfully for a time not long ago, when Ole Miss had at least one mild mannered, gritty, gutty, deceptively fast player. A player with a certain quality that you couldn't quite put your finger on. There was just something about him that made him likable to you. One things for sure: It wasn't because he was white. You've got a black friend. C'mon.



At the very least, you had Bradley Sowell to look forward to this year. But Sowell could never truly be the Great Whi- uh, Gritty Hope for you, because he was highly touted from the beginning, and you don't really know much of his backstory.



But fear not, you subconciously racist dumdum. Rishaw Johnson did something to get himself demoted to second team, and his replacement was none other than this guy:

He's an underdog. He's unattractive. He's a a lighter shade of pale. What's more? Well, try to contain yourself while reading this:

"Coach Markuson calls me the American Dream. I was in JUCO, a totally different level from here, and I didn't know if I would ever get here," says Brandon.

"Now that I am here, I am going to live the dream and give them everything I have. It's a real strain on the body, but I'm hanging in there. I know a million other kids would like to be in my position, so I am not going to waste a snap.

"I grew up without a Dad and I am being molded into a man by Coach Markuson. I am very thankful for him. He does not baby me or anyone and I appreciate that. You want to give everything you have to someone like that. I will come back later in life and tell my kids that Coach Markuson was the person who made me into a man. I do not want to disappoint him or my teammates. I refuse to."

OK seriously you Spirit ritards, it's hard not to like this kid. So you've suckered me into rooting for this year's Great White Hope. He's scheduled to start against Memphis at RG, and may see time at Center if (God forbid) we have some OL injuries. Predictably, you payboard guys already have at least three threads devoted to this guy. Somewhere inside Mordor / the Ole Miss Media
Relations Department, some lackey is proposing the commercial release of Brandon Green's jersey. Trust us: the madness has only just begun surrounding this guy who, in reality, is the weak link on the weakest aspect of our team.

But for now, we're with you. We like Brandon Green too. Don't make us change our mind, kid.




*(//on a serious note, is it not a little curious that all our stars hang out together? are the role players not cool enough for you guys? D3xt3r? xxxgr3g?)

On Drew Pomeranz

"Beauty is not the goal of competitive sports, but high-level sports are a prime venue for the expression of human beauty. The relation is roughly that of courage to war.

The human beauty we’re talking about here is beauty of a particular type; it might be called kinetic beauty. Its power and appeal are universal. It has nothing to do with sex or cultural norms. What it seems to have to do with, really, is human beings’ reconciliation with the fact of having a body."

- David Foster Wallace, "Roger Federer as Religious Experience" Play Magazine, Aug. 20, 2006

Oh, hi guys. Sorry for the extended break. Its been a long, busy spring. And also, the editors here were experiencing a little bit of blog burnout.

The thing about web logging, you see, is that you feel the need to say something daily. Which is to say, you want to have your own voice, to say something unique. And that's tough to do when you're talking about something held so dearly by such a wide range of people as Ole Miss athletics.

So it makes no sense that we'd return to our little corner of the internets tonight, June 1, 2009, to heap praise upon Drew Pomeranz. Because we're already late to the party.

We're certain we heard at least three people (Bianco, Shep Smith, Kellum) use the term "legend" when talking about Pom's game tonight. High praise from one, hyperbole from the other two. Kellum flirted with the homo-erotic in his description of the 9th inning.

We haven't checked the serious boards yet, but when NAFOOM looks like it did tonight, you can bet they are bowing to the golden calf on Spirit and Rivals. Our friends at RCR opted for the much more subtle approach in describing Pom's performance tonight, choosing to wax cryptic with their piece titled "Drew Pomeranz just pitched the greatest game in Ole Miss history".

Somewhere, BWAYNE and REBMIK are dancing around a boar's head in loin cloths.

So we're not going to reinvent the wheel here tonight. There is but one storyline worth mentioning when you talk about Ole Miss's 4-1 win over Western Kentucky, and that is the performance of Drew Pomeranz. Baseball's a game of numbers, and Pom's say it all. 9IP, 16 Ks, 2 H, 0 ER.

On 72 hours rest. In a win-or-its-all-over game. To secure a Super at home.

David Foster Wallace describes the almost out of body experience of watching Roger Federer play in very eloquent and beautiful but also practical terms. The ultimate beauty of sport is indeed in our reconciliation with the fact that our spirits are tied to these clumsy, awkward, rotten, forever dying bodies. Some of us are able to make them look graceful.

But some of us are able to make them look graceful in the face of adversity. Far be it from us to try and transcend anything DFW said while he was still on this earth, but instances like tonight prove that sometimes it is about more than simply physics and nature and gravity. We've never been big on words like "guts" or "heart" or "grit" or any of that other crap that keeps unoriginal writers in business. But we are at a loss for how else to describe what Pom did tonight.

I was talkin 'bout you, Pom Pom.

Understand that it is almost inhuman to throw 108 pitches on Friday and then another 115 (we haven't found an exact pitch count) on Monday night. Much less against an offense as explosive as WKU's. Much less in a near no-hit effort.

So we're more than happy to join in the chorus of praise tonight for Bianco and for the Rebs, but especially for Pom. We hope he and the rest of the Rebs get all the partying out of their systems tonight, and are ready for what will undoubtedly be the frattiest Super Regional in the history of baseball and frats next weekend when Virginia rolls into town. May Minerva guide you, young Rebels.

Jamar Hornsby and You, Friend

"Everything that keeps me together is falling apart / I've got this
thing that I consider my only art (of fucking people over)."

Modest Mouse, 3rd Planet

Oh boy. You guys heard about this. We know you did because we read the boards and the blogs and the papers and we saw that everybody got their digs in on Jamar Hornsby after he got arrested in Starkville recently for suspected involvement in a brawl and petit larceny.

We wanna start by saying that we were against signing this guy in the first place. That thing he did back in Florida with the credit card and the dead friend and whatnot still kinda stinks. And we thought it was buttarded that Ole Miss people wanted to believe that the credit card thing was just a misunderstanding back then, and we hope they feel silly now.

And we want you to know that we aren't above having a laugh at others' expense, either. We laughed just as out-loudily as anybody when the Hogvillians melted down after Ryan Mallett got his Public Intox. We even tested out our internet skillz to mixed results - that we never thought we'd show you.

'Cause of the self-righteous sneer, right? Get it?

But let's get one thing straight, gang: Jamar Hornsby's situation is flat out sad. Here is a human being who just pissed away one of the brightest futures anybody on the planet could hope to have because someone rear ended his car. I'm Ok with everyone getting their laughs in, because this guy really deserves it. He fucked up royally, and assaulted another human in the process. So laugh away, but understand that this kid's once promising future is forever tainted.

Let's not beat around the bush: Jamar Hornsby does not need to be on the Ole Miss football team next year. He was extended a second chance at wealth and prominence and influence, which is two more than most get, and he got in his own way, and now we don't owe him anything. I don't care how good he is. He should not be on our team next year.

But to those of you who are rooting for the DA here, who are hoping he rots away in a Florida penitentiary somewhere (which is highly likely), please understand that Hornsby obviously has a schewed sense of right and wrong. We're talking about a kid who sold all of his family and friend tickets to strangers at marked up prices while at Florida, a clear violation of NCAA rules for which Florida was penalized. But what does that say that he had no one in his life who gave a damn enough to come watch him play football in front of 90,000 fans for the eventual National Champion? Our mothers were there for every second of winter league 1A Parochial High School soccer, standing often in the freezing rain to watch a 0-0 tie in a sport they knew little to nothing about. Christ, we have a sister who erupts in applause every time her newborn makes a poopy.

And the use of a dead friend's credit card, no matter the details, shows a blatant irreverence for life and disconnect from what it is to be a human. This latest transgression in a parking lot in Starkville is only further proof that Hornsby has some serious issues. And the sad part is that if he doesn't know right from wrong by now, he likely never will. What's even more depressing is that probably doesn't even bother him.

So get your giggles in at the Fulmer Cup and all that, gang, but don't fool yourself into believing that this is just some evil asshole who deserves the worst. Evil's a mighty heavy adjective, and it's also rarely accurate. And if you think that you weren't born to trouble as the sparks fly up; Weren't saved by fortune and circumstance and grace, well then, you're just as delusional as Hornsby, brother.

Sin Fanaticos: Third in a Three Part Series

Surely you guys have seen this video. If not, google Micah Ginn. Or put "Are You Ready" into the little box on Youtube, and watch this guy's videos he's put together. I'm fairly certain he was the guy behind the season recap high-light reel that was played before the Egg Bowl. He obviously wins at life.

Anyhow, we mention the video now not as a flame to the RSC guys. Those guys knew they would quintuple (?) our normal Monday traffic with their post about us, and we obviously appreciate that. And we sort of get why some people are turned off by David Huertas. But the mindset bugs us a little, and we're gonna try one last time to flesh that out.

The first time we met David Huertas was at a pre-season photo shoot in November 2006. We had gone in early to get some lighting figured out for a shoot with Todd Abernethy, Bam Doyne and Clay Sanders. When we got in the Tad Pad, the only other soul in the building was Huertas. Doing just what he's doing in that video. Free throws. Three pointers. 18-footers. From the time we got there, until the time we had taken a memory card full of pictures and left. He was doing the same thing every time we went in the Tad Pad (literally) that season, excluding games, obviously. From everything we've heard, he still stays late after practice to work on his shots.

The point is, that video's dialogue probably isn't all that far off from Huertas' work ethic.

But we don't want to get hyperbolic, as our friends tell us we have a tendency to do. We don't want to harp on his work ethic, or the long odds of a kid coming from Puerto Rico to the United States to make it by playing basketball. No, we're not going to cast him in that underdog role. We ask that you refrain from doing the same.

Likewise, refrain from seeing him as the bad teammate. The kid who disrespects his coach. And, rightly or wrongly, yells at his teammates. Disregard the overly dramatic, sometimes borderline queer dives he takes when trying to draw a charge. Forget that he is likely just a Saint of Circumstance, with inflated stats because everyone around him is either terrible or hurt.

At the end of the day, after all, talk is talk and facts are facts.

All we want you to do is to ask yourself, as an Ole Miss fan, why you wouldn't be all for the guy who leads the team in points and assists.

We realize that the Spirit message board mindset is a rose-colored-glasses fantasy land that is easily made fun of. "All our kids are choir boys, all their kids are thugs." We're not asking you to adopt that 'blindly love all things Ole Miss' attitude.

But we do ask you to question why its all of a sudden popular to hate on the best player on your favorite team. Sometimes people fall into these cycles of having to adopt a contrarian point of view to like, prove their fanhood or something similar to that. To prove to people that they're paying close attention, because dammit, they are a serious fan.

Well, not to get too Lietchesque or anything, but sometimes it should just be enough that a player is excellent at his sport and also he plays for your team. Ergo, you are his fan. Its simpler that way. Its more natural. Its not dumb or Spirit boardish. Its just being a fan who enjoys seeing his or her team do well.

We agree with Juco All-American over at the Cup that by this time next year, no one will remember all the David hate, because at that point :knock on wood: we should be heading for the home stretch of one of, if not the best seasons in Ole Miss basketball history. We hope that everyone is on the same page by that point, and in the mean time, we accept this mea culpa* we received via email from everyone's favorite bloggers.

*we kid because we love

Quit Making Us Defend David Huertas, People

Let's go ahead and state the self-evident: the RedSoloCup > Forward Rebels. That blog is well thought out, its funny, its sharp and timely and you can tell the guys who maintain it take pride in what they do. They don't take days off like we're prone to do. AND they've always been nice enough when Forward Rebels has had internet/techish questions. AND they write about Ole Miss sports, which is obviously our interest, and thus we check in on them daily. We're fans of those guys, and almost always agree with them.

Except when, in a probably flippant little moment of inter-Cup division, one of them takes a lengthy swipe at Dahveed. Which truly wouldn't be that big a deal except that a large amount of people actually believe this shit. Since we like to pretend that we're above wading into message boards and correcting every idiot we disagree with (and the Huertas Haters are legion, believe us), we're glad that Cup author The One That Got Away teed one up for us. If you call out a blogger, he's at least got the means to defend himself, if need be. Anyhoo, let's get all FJMish up in here by dissecting this argument. The usually on-point tOTGA's thoughts are in bold:

I am going to politely disagree with Ghost and say he [sic] Huertas is overrated and inconsistent. I don't like Dahveed and if you have ever sat around me at a basketball game it should not come as a surprise.

Fair enough. He doesn't like David Huertas and has been vocal about it at basketball games, while presumably cheering for all Rebels not named David Huertas. And how would you like to substantiate your dislike? Maybe pointing to a huge loss that Huertas caused?

Yesterday was a perfect example of Huertas and how he hurts the team.

Oh. You went that way with it. See this piece was written on Sunday, meaning "yesterday" was Saturday, the day Huertas dropped 17 on Georgia in a convincing 69-47 home win to pull us to .500 in conference. OK, OK. I'm still listening, I guess. Continue.

Kennedy decided to take Dahveed out early because Huertas was throwing up retarded shots. The one that did him in was a drive to the basket when he was triple teamed and threw up a circus shot that hit nothing but backboard.

Hmmm. The coach took out a shooting guard because he started off cold. I guess that reflects poorly on the shooting guard. Like he's trying to do too much on offense. Why would a shooting guard, and the team's most tenured player, think he needs to do that much? Doesn't make sense. Now, you may look at it logically and say: "Dahveed is the SEC's 4th leading scorer and the only player in Saturday's starting lineup who had started a college game prior to this season. And also, he's one of only two consistent, legitimate offensive threats on our team." Well, don't go thinking too much, friend. Observe:

AK immediately went to the bench and when Huertas saw he was being taken out made sure the crowd and everyone on the court knew he was upset with AK's decision.

*GASP!* David Huertas: 17 pts, 5 rebounds, 2 assts, 1 scowl at that bastion of public restraint and emotional discipline, Andy Kennedy. Kick his ass off the team!

It's clear that AK and Huertas have a strained relationship. This isn't the first time they have got into it with each other. I think it was the UT game when they were both yelling at each other, probably because Kennedy reminded Dahveed that he has teammates.

Ok, in seriousness, I would rather our players didn't talk back to our coaches. BUT, I'll take 20 points and a hissy fit over 2 points and "thank you sir, may I please have another" every day of the week. You want a team full of Patrick Spachs? Good luck. When scowling at your coach starts being worth -20 points, call us.

As for "reminding him that he has teammates": David Huertas has 62 assists on the year. He leads the team in that statistic. Granted, the starting point guard went down early in the year, and the new point guard hasn't played enough to catch him in that category, but 62 assists out of your 3 guard is nothing to scoff at.

I think the "reminding about teammates" argument is a subtle nod at the prevailing notion that Dahveed is a ball hog (a sentiment reiterated in the comments section of the RSC post). Before we address that issue, lets point out that another paradigm among the Huertas Huaters is that Terrico White plays the "Rebel way" or some shit like that, and that White is the greatest player of all time at Ole Miss (seriously, lots of people think this. tOTGA says as much in the linked article, where he also complains about Huertas missing too many shots).
UGA game FG-FGA stats:
Huertas: 5-12
T. White: 8-18

Season FG %
Huertas: .423
White: .420

It drives me insane watching Huertas, who is not a very adept ball handler, waste 10 seconds of the shot clock trying to find his way into the lane or get a look at a three.

Woah. Chill out there, tOTGA.

I know he puts up points, that's great,
Better than great. Its how you win basketball games, which is the point of playing basketball. Anyhow, here comes the crux and fallacy of all of this...
but it frustrates me to no end how he takes plays off,
One of the most intense defenders on the team. If anything, he is too passionate, as Latin athletes tend to be...
doesn't pass,
Leads the team in assists...
blows up on his teammates when they do something wrong
Guaran-fucking-tee you if he was white everybody would be cool with this. We were watching the UF-LSU game tonight on ESPN and Nick Calathes chewed out a freshman (black) teammate on camera and the announcers ooohed and aaaahed about Nick's leadership abilities.
Not saying tOTGA is racist, believe us we're not. But why is it not cool for the most experienced player on the team to chew ass sometimes?
and disrespects his coach.
Who spent the night in jail for calling someone Osama Bin Laden, and also probably hurls some of the most venomous insults anybody can imagine in team huddles. Also, that coach plays him for 35 minutes a game, so, you know, there's probably an understanding there.

He's done good things for us, no doubt, but for now I am not going to miss him when he leaves.
"Water is essential to life on earth, no doubt, but for right now I could handle a drought for a year."

In sum: Take David Huertas off this team and we are looking at maybe 8 wins this year. That's not wild proselytizing. That's the truth. He is the best player on this team, and if he weren't here, nobody associated with Ole Miss would give two shits about basketball at this point in the season. Don't succumb to this chic prevailing notion that he is somehow bad for our team, or worthy of your hate. He's just goofy. And goofy's always been alright with us.

David Dellucci: Make Believe Hero, Full-Time Jackass

Yes, Ole Miss lost games to South Wichita Polytechnic Institute and the Mobile Shrimper's Guild softball team this weekend. So what. Happens every year. Newsflash: we were over-ranked at No. 6 anyway, so don't act like your dog just died.

Now, on to more entertaining news: David Dellucci is telling the Cleveland media that he injured his thumb while saving a small child from an alligator attack. And they believe him.

Thanks Dave.

Does Anyone Remember? Does Anybody Care?

When the sun shines down on what's left of me /

About a hundred years from now /

I'm gonna cut my water with Rebel Yell /

And claw my way back to town

100 years, 100 years /

They'll break me, but I'll break them too

--Dr. Dog, 100 Years

The Rebels will take on Georgia in the Tad Pad on Saturday, and the University will do its best to celebrate 100 years of not-so-storied Ole Miss basketball tradition at halftime. The school has selected an All-Century team to commemorate the occasion of this season. A genuine +1 to Langston Rodgers and Co. for that.

But this is the same Sports Information Department that gave us manually dropped crepe-paper from the score board and "the redblue in you" campaign. Anything they promote should be taken with a grain of salt. The occasion, though - that of a century's worth of basketball at the University of Mississippi - brings up a very important and existential question that we've all asked ourselves before: How am I supposed to feel about Ole Miss basketball?

Let's not confuse the situation. No one at Forward Rebels wants you to rationalize not going to the game tomorrow. And it is decidedly not valid to answer basketball taunts from State fans with "Well, we're a football school." Because we all know first hand that when the Rebels are good, we care. The Forward Rebs editorial staff, to be sure, cared a great deal back in 2001 when a special Rebel was making it cool to be a small fry right when all 125 pounds of this blog's staff was hitting campus.

But what are we to make of this basketball program that once promoted its head basketball coach to Ass't Coach of the Freshmen in football (not even joking)? What to make of a team who's greatest basketball coach (Country Graham) is only regarded as highly as he is because he notoriously spied on opponents of the school's greatest football coach (Vaught)?

The answer, of course, is to treat it exactly the way it gets treated. Sure, in an ideal world every game of every season would be sold out and raucous, and we could raise the funds for better practice facilities, and we could eventually say bye-bye to the Tad Pad. But it took the University of Mississippi about 50 years to regard its basketball program as anything other than a primer for football season, so its taking the fans a while to warm up to the sport.

Consequently, its fitting that the Centennial would fall in the same season that brings us three year ending knee injuries and Bin Ladengate. Outside of a few notable exceptions, Ole Miss basketball has been hounded by mediocrity.

That said, it doesn't take an improbable SEC Tourney Championship run to endear a program to a fanbase. All it takes is competition against blood rivals, and players who prove that they will run through walls for the same program that we struggle to make it to Wednesday night games to see if it happens to be raining outside. Its those players, no matter how many times they missed out on post-season play, that deserve the recognition they'll get tomorrow night. If you've been around for a century and have never been considered a UK or a KU, you learn to appreciate grit, and pluck and scrap and mostly spite. You truly do have to appreciate the idea of going into games and seasons thinking "They'll break me, but I'll break them too..."

Players like Elston Turner and Gerald Glass and Ansu Sesay and John Stroud and yes, Lil' Harrison (who was somehow left off the All-Century Team) understood this when they came to Ole Miss. And they allowed us to have those fleeting moments that validate 100 years of basketball. If anything ever does come from this program, it will be because of the players on the court at halftime on Saturday.

If you're in Oxford this weekend, please attend for their sake, at the very least.

Six and a Half Months Out

You know how in Jurrasic Park they'll just be sitting there in the jeep or something, just talking about music and food and stuff, and Jeff Goldblum is making some weird but vaguely witty comment, and then all of a sudden somebody's water will get ripples in it and everybody goes quiet because you know, you just all of a sudden know that those little water ripples in the cup are being made because that mofo T-Rex is waaaaaaaaay out there but he a comin andnoLittleTimmythatain'tnotremorweain'tonafaultlinelet'sgetthehellouttahereandquick - you know what I'm sayin? You know that thing is out there but dammit it's big and it'll be here soon enough.

It's really a little cinematic tool that foreshadows and builds suspense. Frebaholics, I present our water-cup ripples.

Goose.Bumps.


I'd like to take this opportunity to announce to you all that I plan on witnessing every minute of Ole Miss football next year. If it breaks me (and it most certainly will), I will sell things to make it. I'm not saying we're going to win the SEC or the National Title or anything like that. That's not the reason I'm doing this at all. I'm doing it because I'm at a point in my life where I can do it, and I've always wanted to and why the eff not? If not now, when? And of course, for all you poor little schmucks who aren't able to take on that enormous feat, I'm willing to lay it all on the line and let you live vicariously through the blog. I'll send you postcards from the road.

Anyhoo, we'll keep our eyes open for more water-cup ripples in the meantime.

A massive HatTip to Ledhendrix for creating this video.
A smaller HatTip to BhamReb of NAFOOM for finding this thing.

The Heartbreak Kid

In case you were unaware, we're playing LSU on Saturday, which is also Valentine's Day. As such, I'd like to be the first to remind you of what went down the last time we played LSU on Valentine's Day.

Cold blooded.

For the record, Clay Sanders is one of my all-time favorite Rebels. The guy always had a smile on his face. I was on floor under the basket at the Fed Ex Forum in 2007 when Memphis' student section collectively decided that Clay looked like Flavor Flav (Flavor of Love was in its heyday). Everytime he touched the ball they'd start doing the emphatic "FLAY - va FLAYYYVV!" line. Most guys might take offense but I remember Clay actually laughing with them at one point. He was just that type of guy - not really a mean bone in him, as far as I could tell. But he had ice in his veins at the end of the game.

On a related note, the Ole Miss basketball All-Century Team (1908-2008) is being announced this weekend. If DeAundre Cranston isn't the starting forward, then we're boycotting basketball. We'll keep ya posted.

The Defining Moments of 2008

As you are well aware, its February. And our basketball season has pretty much been about next year for the past two months. And we don't even have a game this week until Saturday. So naturally, we're gonna talk about football. "But" you say, "baseball's starting up soon! You could write about that!"

Well, the guys over at Red Solo Cup are cranking up the baseball coverage just fine, so feel free to peruse their pre-season takes if you're into that kind of thing. Forward Rebels, in the meantime, will do the only logical thing during this slow athletic period and look not to a preview, but to a postview. Backwards, Rebels.

Backwards to a recap of 2008 in the only way we know how. We're not going to pick some title that will tempt the Sports Deities to humiliate us for another five years. We're simply choosing a totally accurate and official list of the Eight Most Defining Plays of the 2008 Season. Note what we're not calling it. "Greatest." "Exciting." "Important." "Orgasmic." None of these adjectives will suffice.

These are plays that we believe best sum up our season. If someone were to put a gun to our head and say "HEY! You have to define Ole Miss's football season by selecting EIGHT PLAYS. Be prepared to defend your answers!!!" We'd be like "Woah. Why eight?" And they'd be like "Because it was 2008 smartass!!!" And then we'd go "OK that just seems a little arbitrary and lazy. I guess it was 2008 and all, but you'd only have to pick 2 more to get to a nice round number..." and then they'd just go "LISTEN dipshit I took Samir Husni and he said its cool to choose non-round numbers in listmaking to increase reader interest by lending an air of creditiblity to the selection process now SHUT UP and do it..." Wait what?

Anyhow, let's start with these two plays. These are listed in decending order, BTdubs, as the rest of the list will appear gradually over the next few days:

8.) Bye Bye WildBoyz. Hello WildRebel. Dexter scampers 32 yards for a TD from new-fangled offensive formation in first game of year.

Granted, in August, no one associated with Forward Rebs was doing nearly as much blog reading / message board lurking as we do right now, but we genuinely don't remember much "Wild Rebel" speculation during the preseason. Surely people were talking about this. Surely people had seen it in practices. But we just don't recall there being that much WildRebel buzz.

Whatever the case, we doubt anyone predicted the formation would debut with such a splash. Jevan had already announced his arrival with a long touchdown pass to Shay, but it was Dexter who put the Rebels up for good late in the first quarter against Memphis.

With the game tied 7-7 Dex took the snap from the shotgun formation, faked a hand off to a scampering Brandon Bolden, and darted around John Jerry's right side before turning north and covering 32 yards for the touchdown. A collective lightbulb went off in Frebs' little corner of the South Endzone. "Woah," everybody seemed to gasp simultaneously, "this could get fun." The play itself foreshadowed a diverse offense that was the lightyears smarter than the Orgeron years and a metric ton more creative than anything David Cutcliffe could envision in the midst of a mescaline binge nightmare.

In the short term, Dex's run foreshadowed the type of trickery that would lead to Bolden's 37 yard pass to Snead later in the game. For the long-term, the play announced a formation that would keep defenses on edge for the next 12 games - which was about the same amount of time it took us to truly appreciate the mad-hattery of Kent Austin.

7.) Peria Places Index Finger Over Mouth: Bryant-Denny Shushes

Of Going Down, And Going Down Swinging

Bryant-Denny Stadium is a pretty underrated place to play when it comes to toughness. No, a 2:30 October kickoff in Tuscaloosa isn't Death Valley at nightfall, but 90,000 + drunks hellbent on a perfect season is plenty enough to cause a ruckus. And you better believe they were rocking and rolling after Dexter McCluster's fumble with 12:00 minutes left in our game this past year.

Understand the context of that moment. We weren't, by any stretch of the imagination, expected to make much noise in that game or on the year. Sure, we had beaten Florida. But that game could be written off as a fluke while the South Carolina and Vandy losses were still fresh on everyone's mind. Bama was coming off upsets over Georgia and Clemson. We were staring at going below .500 on the year while they were eyeing a No. 1 ranking. Also, they put up 24 points in a very ugly first half that saw us trailing by three TDs.

The Rebels had closed the gap to 14 points in the third quarter, and had just begun to make the hometown Tide fans nervous when Dex put the ball on the ground for the umpteenth time in the still young season. Bama's coronation party was back at full force when the Tide offense took the field. Saban played it safe after a short gain on a pass play, electing to send his Senior Glen Coffee up the middle between All-American Antoine Caldwell and Outland Trophy winner Andre Smith.

The Truth shoved Caldwell with his left arm, literally put left guard Mike Johnson on his ass, and met Coffee two yards into the backfield. Coffee lost the football in the midst of that collision, and Kentrell Lockett had recovered it by the time Peria's 300 pounds came crashing down on Coffee's torso. It wasn't until Forward Rebs had replayed the play several times later that night that we realized how quickly the noise in that stadium had gone from deafening to non-existent. It was the closest thing sports can get to the scene from Animal House when Otter walks in on Otis Day and the Knights at the nightclub. Peria's hit was the 'record scratch' noise.

Anyhow, four plays later Snead hit Shay on a stop-fade in the endzone and the Rebs had closed to within one TD. We all know how that turned out, but the statement Jerry made with that one play spoke volumes about the difference in attitude this team would display for the rest of the year. It's worth noting that the Rebs wouldn't lose another game for the rest of the way. Oh to have been a fly on the wall during that Bama halftime speech.

What's that? You thought the Defining Moments would come from wins? Please. The two greatest plays of Forward Rebs' entire fanhood didn't really end ideally. We are Ole Miss, after all. Watch for the rest of the list throughout the end of this week.

Defending Dahveed

There's a fortune inside your head /All you touch turns to lead You think you might just crawl back in bed /The fortune inside your head

You know you're just a mama's boy/ Positively unemployed

So misunderstood

Wilco, Misunderstood

A theoretical: If you moved to, like, New Jersey or some metropolatin exurb up north, would you change the way you dressed or acted? I got a friend who made such a move recently.

Last I talked to this kid, he was having trouble. He couldn't really find the right crowd to run with and kept having girls "scooped right out from underneath" him. The only reasoning he could come up with, and I tended to agree with him, was because he refused to put product in his hair, or wear jewelry or sport the omnipresent backwards fitted flat-billed hat.

Anyhow, I couldn't help thinking about that as I read the Ole Miss message boards yesterday following our 10 point loss to Vanderbilt in Nashville. The problem with Ole Miss's effort yesterday, according to everybody with a keyboard, was David Huertas.

Understand: our problem wasn't that Mac White and DeAundre Cranston got pwned by an Australian guy on the boards all game. It wasn't that Vandy shot 67% from the field in the second half. What it was was that damned David Huertas and his 19 points that only accounted for 30% of our offense.

Before I get too deep into this, I'd like to address the fact that Forward Rebels is just as guilty of Hurt-us-cising Dahveed as anyone else. We've got an "Is David Huertas an Alien?" tag. We're culprits. BUT, there's a big difference in having a cheap laugh at a guy's goofiness and actually believing he's what's wrong with our team. Make no mistake, David Huertas is the MVP of this team, and I'm not so sure that's simply by default by virtue of EP and Warren's injuries.

But its his goofiness that leads to all the negative pub he gets. Or more accurately, its his Puerto Rican-ness that makes him stand out. Just like I wouldn't put product in my hair if I lived in State College, PA, Dahveed is not going to quit scowling when things go wrong on the court in Mississippi.He's not going to quit being abrassive to opposing players and referees.He's not going to quit being overly dramatic when trying to draw a foul.

It's easy to see, after watching the international players in the Olympics this past year, that Huertas' style of play is 100% FIBA, which is to say that morally its a lot closer to soccer than it is to the NBA. The players wear their emotions on their sleeves. They take dives. They generally cut corners that American players wouldn't.

This phenomenon of villifying your star isn't exclusive to Ole Miss. The Yankees do it with A-Rod (and have long before A-Rod's recent troubles). Nevermind the fact that Alex Rodriguez puts up MVP like numbers in New York. Nevermind that he's the best player on their team. He dates movie stars and hasn't won the World Series, so he's the problem with the team. He's not a "True Yankee" like Derek Jeter.

Likewise, if Dahveed had gone down with an injury early in the year, leaving Chris Warren to lead a group of freshmen into SEC play, and then Warren had a poor start to the game against Vandy, I don't think anyone would've put our failure to make the NCAA tourney on Warren's shoulders. I saw multiple threads on the Spirit and Rivals boards yesterday doing just that to Huertas. Why? Because Warren is essentially emotionless on the court and hustles his ass off. Huertas grimaces, he scowls, he smiles, he talks shit in Spanish, he isn't totally submissive to the coaches.

But he's also the best thing we've got right now. Terrico's had an excellent three or four game run, but David's still averaging about 20 a game - and that's from the first game on. While his slow start did play a factor into Saturday's loss, it wasn't the reason we lost. It was maybe 9th on the list, and remember that Nos. 1-3 are "knees" and No. 7 is probably "Saddam Hussein".

Bobbie. Yes.

Ok. This is easily the raddest piece of video to come out since Peria v. Herman at the Senior Bowl. Fast forward to about the 1:42 mark.



The second best part, minus the whole "flippantly throwing Alabama's hat on the ground" thing, is that Massie actually mentions Bama's blogs as a reason for disrespecting them. Being a logical group ourselves, we're going to interpret that as meaning that Bob is a fan of Forward Rebs. Thanks for the vote of confidence, friend.



HT: RidgeReb of NAFOOM.

38 Special or What Would Gavin Stevens Do?

We can't get mad at anyone for hating us. We truly believe that. It was the unsinkable George Straight, after all, who told us that you can't make a heart love somebody. And hate, being the contrarian bastard that it is, doesn't submit itself to reason either.

So while we disagree with the Razorbacks about Houston Nutt, obviously, we can understand their angst. They're relatively new in the conference, and nobody really cares about playing against them. True, they have that trophy game with LSU, but that game is only a rivalry by default. Auburn had Bama. State had Ole Miss. And LSU and Arkansas looked around and realized there was nobody left but eachother, so they might as well make the best of it. Sorta like the two nerdy kids during a slow song at the Jr. High dance. What's worse is that LSU probably considers four other games as bigger rivalries than the Hogs' biggest.

The Battle for the "Golden Boot" or whatever

They've been desperate for a genuine rivalry, so when Razorback fans go on ad nauseam about Houston Nutt's shortcomings, the only courteous thing to do is quietly ignore them, and extricate yourself from the situation. Similar to what old Houston himself did in the first place.

The walk-on alums don't really recognize that you are trying to politely back away from the confrontation, though. Thus they're still trolling message boards, still calling into the radio shows, still bitter in every way imaginable. Even the brighter ones want to wax poetic about a man who rid himself of their lives over a year ago. They'll go highbrow on you. Get all literary.

The same fanbase that produces knuckleheads who degrade our coach's family, also sends us some bookish dude to let us know that in some fictional alternate universe, Houston Nutt runs with the Snopes clan in the wrong part of Yoknapatawpha County.

Well excuse us, but we fail to see just what in the motherfuck these people are talking about. Being from Oxford and all, we'd like to take the opportunity to ask these clowns what they think Gavin Stevens would do if 50,000 overzealous, ill-tempered crazies made it clear that they hated him and wanted him to leave. We'd like to think that Faulkner's hero, the traditional Southern Marcus Aurelius disciple that he is, would leave and vow revenge. Consequently, we'd like to congratulate the literary Hogs on getting one thing right: The past isn't dead. It isn't even past.

For us, National Signing Day was the official end of the "courteous" period with our neighbors to the Northwest. It's pretty much been a full football year with Houston. The honeymoon has had every opportunity to be over. We're still pretty keen on the guy.

They told us, first, that in general the guy couldn't coach. Once soundly disproven, the argument was then whittled away and whittled away until, finally, the last leg the lunatic fringe had to stand on was Houston's recruiting. "Once Orgeron's talent leaves, you'll see!" they said.

Well today we watched as the University recieved 38 Letters of Intent from kids who held offers from damn near every team in the nation. Georgia and Florida want the blue-chip offensive lineman? He chooses Ole Miss. Bama after the can't miss wide receiver? Sorry, he's in too. Auburn offers a slew of our defensive commits? Staying solid. The mighty Petrino gets after those Florida DEs and LBs? Sorry Bob. Welcome to the SEC.

What we wound up with at the end of today was something that has a very legitimate chance of becoming the very best signing class in the post-Vaught era. It is large. It addresses needs. It is short on grade risks and long on talent.

It's also a little scary, but that's cool.

The point of all of this is that we don't have to be polite with the Hog fans anymore. If they are too stupid to realize that they have consistently been made to look like fools, then so be it. They have every right to continue to call us rivals, as long as they understand that for 51 weeks out of the year we'd rather not be bothered with defending our coach. We got nine wins, an excited fanbase and, as of today, one bad ass signing class. One of these days their burning hatred will flicker then dim then burn itself out, and perhaps the smarter ones will realize: those are really the only things that matter.

The Cincinatti Vid and a Couple of Observations

• 
  
  Oh boy: Well, the Zapruder film has finally surfaced in Taxicab Confessions/ Bin Ladengate. Here's the abbreviated version from the news station WLWT in Cincinatti. I would like to link to the entire thing, for those of you who wish to watch an hour's worth of fuzzy police dashboard video footage, but midway through the elongated version Kennedy gives his cell and SSN#, and I'm not a big enough ass to spread that around. Also, WTF WLWT? That shit better be edited out by the time I get up in the morning. I watched the whole thing, and will say that the majority of the video consists of AK being level headed, while the Armstrong guy goes ape shit at certain times. Meanwhile, Cop #1 is a ginormous dickhead, while Cop #2 wins the game of life. The highlight of the entire thing? Cop #2: "You think we've never dealt with the national media? We deal with the Bengals." Your move, OchoCinco.
  

• 
  
  Ugh. Recruiting: Full disclosure, I've been tuning in to the recruiting boards a little. First off, 99% of the people who post there are unbelievably stupid. Secondly, it should go without saying that Forward Rebels believes "star rankings" are subjective, arbitrary and about as accurate as odds on dog-racing. But, but but, the first week of February is fun in that way that 90's Country songs on the radio when no one else is in the car are fun. Guilty pleasures are indeed, highly pleasurable. Frebs' sources confirm that of our remaining big name guys we're after, only Marlon Brown is unlikely for us. Take that for what its worth. Also, if you think Ja-Mes will be the weirdest name for a wide reciever in this class, you got another thing coming.
  

• 
  
  Hey Dogs:
  

This is what a mismatch looks like.

On Ole Miss vs. MSU

Firts off, if the first thing that came to your mind when you saw the title of this post was "OMG maybe he's got some info on Patterson!!!!", you're in luck. I've got the real lowdown on old PP's whereabouts last night, and what bars and ladies he hit up, and who his player hosts were and what his latest lean is (spoiler alert: the news is good!!!) right here.

Now, on to the basketball game tomorrow at the Hump. I debated for the longest time about how much I was even going to write about basketball this year, but want to go ahead and flesh this game out. The reasoning is that even though all signs point to the Rebs getting blown out at the Hump tomorrow, Forward Rebels has always been of the mindset that you can't just pick and choose when to acknowledge rivalries. You can't say the games don't matter when you're the heavy underdog (although, let's not get carried away gang, because there's really nothing that can happen tomorrow that would make up for 45-0).

And make no mistake, Ole Miss has a few things going for them. Namely, the Whites have found their game - particularly Terrico. This kid, as a freshman, has shown flashes of scary-goodness. His posterization of three Kentucky players on Tuesday night had me spewing wine all over my computer screen. The guy can do a ton of things on offense - slash, mid-range shot, the three ball.

And Malcolm, for the first time I can recall in his year and a half at Ole Miss, was finally the beast that he was initially made out to be. He fought and won rebounds. He showed some aptitude with his back to the basket. Most importantly, he showed some controlled, technical offensive capability - meaning that he broke the Jermey Parnell mode of "make one Sportcenter highlight reel play, then finish the game with four points and three boards." To avoid that Parnell pigeonhole, he went so far as to not make the SC Top 10, unlike Terrico and Murphy Holloway. Showoffs.

Skyoos meee.

Anyhow, if those two show up again, and if E.T.Veed can put up 25, we oughta stand a fighter's chance. Except that the game's at the Hump. And for whatever reason, SEC basketball road-home splits are ridiculously slanted in favor of the home team. Somebody smarter than me should reallly try to figure out why collegiate basketball splits are that way, as opposed to other college sports or professional basketball. It really is curious, but I digress.



Varnado will be too much for Big Mac when we have the ball, and we can't expect to shoot lights out from the outside every game. Also, as much as I hate to say it, I don't think we need to read too much into the win over Kentucky. Essentially we found their "Harangody factor." Remember when Notre Dame was all bad ass at basketball a few weeks back, and then like Seton Hall or someone figured out if you box and one on Harangody they can't score, and then Notre Dame hasn't won a game since? Well Kennedy was the first one to figure that out about Jodie Meeks. Don't be surprised to see UK go .500 or worse from here on out.



Anyway, as stated before, we're on the road in a very hostile environment with a very young team. That's the difference, in the end.



My prediction: Dogs 76, Ole Miss 64



Just for shiggles, if you're going to be drinking with friends while watching the game, take a shot everytime DeAundre Cranston falls down, sucker punches someone or commits a goofy foul. Then have someone put you in a cold shower.

In the Dirt

Last week I was talking to someone about Ole Miss baseball and the conversation shifted to the UCLA series last year (two years ago?) when some Rebel fans who made the trip to Los Angeles got ejected. The guy I was talking with recounted the hilarious story. The reason for the ejection was partially because of the "Throw it in the dirt! Dirt!" cheer while the Bruins were pitching.

"I heard about that guy getting ejected," I said.

"Nah. It wasn't the throw-it-in-the-dirt-guy. That guy wasn't there. It was just us," said the kid.

I would venture a guess that 75% of Ole Miss fans would understand who "the throw-it-in-the-dirt-guy" meant. Like me, though, the vast majority of them would only know him as a stubbornly persistent and funny gutterally-southern accented voice coming from Section I of the grand stands at Swayze Field. I wouldn't know the guy from Adam. So I don't really know why I'm writing about the news of his death here on this stupid website.

Chip Clinton, the guy who faithfully started and insisted on your participation in the "throw it in the dirt" chants for as long as I can remember, died today. From what few and unreliable sources I have read, he apparently committed suicide.

On a personal note this is just the latest in a string of terribly depressing bad news that has really only affected the peripheral edges of my life beginning with the New Year. Which is to say, a lot of my friends are going through some rough shit right now. Plus I'm in one of these god-awful C rate hotel and resort casinos in bum-fuck Louisiana, and I just watched Benjamin Button, which put a lump in my throat a few times, and dammit, shit's melancholic right now.

But Clinton's passing would deserve a mention even if I wasn't in a depressive funk. Clinton, after all, is a Rebel of note. Jeff Roberson agrees. He saw fit to relay the news over on the Spirit page.

No, Clinton wasn't Jimmy-two-bits or whatever the guy at Florida is called. Mercifully, Ole Miss doesn't have an advanced enough sports marketing department to manufacture a Jimmy-two-bits. He wasn't even a Whiskey Alley-ite, though I suspect he approved of those guys during the O years.

Clinton was just a collegiate baseball fan, which is about as American as anybody can get. And in a genuine and grass-roots type of way, he brought some enthusiasm to a program that was incidentally on the verge of becoming big and unique and utterly endearing. To paraphrase from Bob Marley, he struck the hammer while the iron was hot. He presided over a time period that saw our University break attendance records and regularly host post-season play. And he helped usher in an attitude that sometimes our fan base desperately lacks, which is to say, he demonstrated that its ok to actually give a shit about the game as opposed to say, your dress or the burgers on the grill.

Anyhow, this guy who few of us ever met is gone, and I can say without hesistation that he will be missed at baseball games. May God keep him. And may we remember that everybody is fighting some type of battle, and consequently everybody deserves basic human compassion.

Unless, of course, they are pitching against the Rebels.


*ED: This was written after some drinks late Monday night, but for whatever reason did not publish, and I didn't notice that until today.

** Hat Tip to ReplayReb of the Spirit boards for the audio link. I don't think I'm supposed to copy and paste from there, but what they don't know can't hurt 'em.

A Sighting of the Demigod Hermanus! (and some dude named Peria)

Apologies for the slow week this week, gang. Things are just now getting back to normal at the office. I'll try to review some of the previous couple of weeks' goings on either today or tomorrow.

In the mean time, after months of googling his name and hanging out at buffets in Baton Rouge, I've finally found some more footage of my man Herman Johnson. Yessssssssssssssssss. Discovering this video on Nafoom today felt like sweet relief.

You'll remember that the last time we saw Big Herm was during CBS's tribute to Him during the inaugural Magnolia Bowl back in November. We found out the guy likes the movie Madagascar and the dessert peach cobbler. Our last glimpse of him was on LSU's last drive, when he showed mercy to DK, remember?

DK was all: bull rush > swim move > spin juke > sack of Jefferson. And Hermanus was all: "Awe, this guy probably wasn't even the biggest baby in his county! Ha! Poor little fella. I'll just pretend to get pushed five yards back and then fall to the ground and let him have this sack on this, my very last play at Tiger Stadium."

Anyhow, it turns out that Hermanus hasn't forgotten his humble ways. At this week's Senior Bowl practices, the Demigod is trying to boost his draft stock, along with Peria and Big Mike, who is also featured in the video (spoiler alert: Big Mike's plays leave a little to be desired). Fast forward to about the 3:50 mark in this video, though, and check out what happens if you move Hermanus inside to OG and ask him to handle the Truth one on one.

HatTip to some dude named VanillaFace on Nafoom.

The Gators and 118 Other 2009 National Champs

There is a predictable movement afoot among our lesser informed fans. "We beat Florida!" they say. "Florida won the BCS! That means WE the Nashnal Champeens, kinda! Right?! Damn Right!"

There are bumper stickers and t-shirts that have something to the effect of "Ole Miss 31 - National Champs 30" written on them. It's pretty stupid. Most people understand that. If I had more time at work today I'd elaborate, but I don't, and Ghost over at the Red Solo Cup already made a pretty fine attempt at stomping this idiocy out.

Anyhow, the reason I bring this back up is because I came across an interesting little internet football calculator today*. Want to take the wind out of the sails of the "sorta National Champions" movement? Tell them that by their reasoning, the University of Alabama-Birmingham is also a BCS champ. Way to Go Blazers!
*Hat tip to Deadspin via College Football Transitive Property.

Let's Talk About Sex, Bay-Bee (?)

I really did have a moral dilemma about this. I'm still not 100% sure I should even be writing about it.

I mean, listen, I know the tone of blogs in general - and this one in particular - is typically snarky and malicious. Believe me, I get that. If you can be a clever enough asshole, more people will laugh at your stuff. And more people will read your stuff. And in some tech-nerdy, silly ass, one-step-below-Star-Trek-fanaticism way, the guy who writes these pointed little malicious "web logs" gets some type of satisfaction out of that.

But even I have reservations about going after somebody's family. So I wouldn't just flippantly spout off about the fact that Kimber Kennedy is taking Mohammed Akbar "Gotta" Jiddou to court because her husband, Andy, presumably can't get it up unless I had good reason.

And that reasoning is sound: Why would somebody publicly air their bedroom, um, shortcomings? Because they are trying to play bluff with a poor immigrant so he'll drop his lawsuit against their husband, that's why. If you think Kimber's lawsuit has anything to do with trying to recuperate some sort of damages from not getting any, then I've got some prime snow skiing property in Greenwood I'd like to sell you. Seriously, not only is this phony ass law suit low class, it's also ridiculously stupid. I mean, I'm no lawyer, but I'm sure there's a less embarassing claim to make - if you're just making shit up anyway - than "Oh, we're not bustin guts enough since you accused my husband of calling you Saddam Hussein."

I love Ole Miss. Love her. But I'm almost envious of student section rowdies at other SEC schools this season. Coming up with clever ways to rip on AK is going to be easier than shooting fish in a barrel.

Get Together...One More Time

Too busy at work today to say much, but its all across the wire: DK will return. I'm off to round up the other Rebs in my office and we're going to youtube the Pride of the South doing From Dixie With Love, and then we'll lock arms and do the Slow Sway like we were in the South Endzone.

DK: And a Good Day to You Too, Sir?

I could think of a thousand reasons for me to leave you...

Well, believe it or not gang, Gregory "DK" Hardy is having trouble making his mind up. I know, I know. It's hard to digest. The same guy who sometimes tries, sometimes wants to embroider towellettes, sometimes forgets his shoes and sometimes knocks the dog-shit out of opposing quarterbacks is being a little indecisive.

My feeling, for what its worth (nothing), is that I'm totally cool with his decision if he decides to opt for the NFL. As much as I try to act like I think Greg Hardy is a Budweiser Leon type of guy, the truth is that I sincerely think the guy has issues. There's a difference between being self-centered and being just a little off your rocker. Anything I've read about Hardy, which admittedly is not much, suggests that the guy has deeper problems than simply not giving a damn about anything but himself.

Without going too deep into things I have only heard about his situation, I think that going to the NFL and getting out from under the influence of others who currently hold sway over him could be the absolute best thing for Greg. And if that were to happen, he could blossom into the every-down beast that he has shown flashes of being throughout his time at Ole Miss.

Vague hearsay aside, I don't think Hardy goes. Not because of some loyalty to Ole Miss or faith in the success of our 2009 season. Not because of Nutt's snake-oil salesmanship at their meeting tomorrow, either. Hardy's too off-kilter to be receptive to rah-rah stuff. No, he'll stay because in order to really cash in on this draft, he'll have to dominate in the NFL combine.

NFL scouts know full well about Hardy's behavior issues. True, the guy's never run afoul of the law or anything like that. But turning pro requires twice the dedication and provides about one fifth of the supervision / coddling. So scouts will be hesitant on him, unless he puts up a combine performance that labels him as a 'can't miss' guy. And we all know that Hardy is more than capable of turning that type of performance in. The guy's a physical freak.

The problem is he'll have to be healthy to do that. And word is that he'll need another surgery on the same ankle. This one could sideline him for as long as four months. That's long enough to miss the combine. So surgery = no combine = mid-to-late-second round pick = Hardy stays.

Of course, I'm going out on a limb to get to another limb to reach the final limb I'm out on here. But that's just how I see this thing playing out. We'll obviously have more on this situation as it develops. If he's going to declare, he's got to do it by Thursday. Stay tuned.

Tracy Rocker: And a Good Day to You, Sir

Defensive Line coach Tracy Rocker goes to Auburn. *Yaaaaaaawwwn* OK sorry. Lets talk about it.

1.) We wish him the best, and can't really blame him. He's going to his alma mater. He has family who live close to Auburn. He got offered 350,0 Wait! What?

2.) He got offered $350,000. From Auburn. To coach their defensive linemen. 2a.) Now we really can't blame him, but 2b.) what in the hell is Auburn doing? Bringing in and overpaying a bunch of exciting but largely unproven assistants does not mask the fact that the guy calling the shots really isn't that good at coaching football. Make no mistake: We would LOVE to be able to pay a position coach $350K. But if we could do that, we probably would splurge a little more on the head guy. Just sayin'.

3.) Last point: we are not losing sleep over this. Rocker's unit was dominant this year. No denying that. But it helps when you've got an All-American senior leading the group. It's not like Jerry was horrible before Rocker got here, either. The kid has been unblockable since early in the 2007 season. I remember listening to the '07 Georgia game on the radio and noticing how many times they called his name. Other people just didn't take notice because we were a terrible team with a losing record. Also, there was an even more dominant player on that defense, remember?

Greg Hardy, for the record, was much better under the Ogre than he was under Rocker. Obviously, you have to factor in injuries and other *ahem* issues. I only bring this up because unwitting Tiger fans will likely attribute Ole Miss's D-line dominance under Rocker to Hardy, because they've heard his name a few times before.

True, Lockett came into his own under Rocker. But Lockett was just a freshman in '07, and couldn't have been expected to contribute at such an early age. If someone wants to argue that Lockett's success is due to Rocker, we could counter that Powe's underwhelming season (at least relative to his initial potential) can also be attributed to Rocker. It'd be a disingenuous argument, but the point is we never do know. We'll see how Lockett develops next year under a different coach. Our guess is that he's even better.

The biggest effect this coaching change will have is this: will it influence Hardy's decision to leave or to stay. We certainly hope he stays. We'll know soon enough.

The second biggest effect, legitimately, is that it gives us a chance to post this ridiculous video that we like to call "The Truth visits the Carnie Folk." Enjoy.

The Angel Timothy Returns: Peria Jerry Chuckles Wistfully

Just a couple'a god-fearin missionaries.

Well, firstly, a hearty apology to diehard Freb fans. The editorial staff here has been on assignment in Texas since the New Year, and unfortunately, that assignment did not involve the beatdown Ole Miss put on Ta Tech in Dallas. We'll certainly post more about that win as we've got some time to kill before baseball -- this basketball season promises to be devoid of anything worthy of writing about. In the meantime:

Yea, verily I say unto thee, the Arch-Angel hath decided to hover in Gaineslehem for next season. Let us all bow our heads.

In a rational sense, this is undeniably good news for Ole Miss. We just wrapped up our home and home with Florida from the east (that turned out ok, I guess), and will be trading them with a very dilapidated Tennessee team next season. So we won't have to see Tebow, unless of course we meet in Atlanta. What's even better is that Arkansas, LSU and Mississippi State will have to take on the reigning BCS Champs during the regular season in 2009. Ergo, a very literal + 1 to Ole Miss's already frighteningly optimistic 2009 SEC West championship campaign. Yay.

But, dear readers, Tebow's announcement means another otherwise joyful football season will be tainted by the media's worship of Tim Tebow. The staff of Frebs was forced to listen to the Nat'l Championship game on ESPN radio, and Kirk Herbstriet's man-crush on Timmy made us blush more than once. On Florida's second TD drive (one dominated by Percy Harvin - you know, the best player on Florida's team) Herbstreit said he thought Urban Meyer had abandoned the no-huddle offense so the rest of the players could see "the fire in Tebow's eyes" in the huddle. He honestly believed that. The staff of Frebs promptly pulled over and vomited on the north-bound shoulder of I-55 at mile marker 62 in the Missouri bootheel.

Also, for the record: exactly what is special or necessary about jumping to throw the football at the goal line? Did the linemen all of a sudden get taller, such that you have to jump above them when you're near the goal line? If television color-guys didn't inexplicably reach orgasm everytime that play happens, do you think Tim would still do the "jump pass"? And finally, is there a man among us who can't hit a wide open receiver from five yards away while jumping? I'm not saying that we're all as talented as Tim Tebow. I'm just saying that announcers going ape-shit over Tim Tebow doing the "jump pass" is silly because the "jump pass" is about as difficult as a free-throw. You don't hear Dick Vitale having an orgasm into the microphone every time Tyler Hansbrough hits a free-throw, do you?

Is this how I do it, Tim? Tee-hee!

Anyhoo, thanks for continuing to check in on Forward Rebels during this lull in posting. Your patience deserves rewarding, and Tebow's ladyfriend* is happy to oblige.

*probably not Tim Tebow's girlfriend, but whatev.

Win Rebels

Win.

Beat these cocky motherfuckers. Beat 'em because you are better than them. Beat them because a Wide Receiver can never control a game.

Beat them because they are disappointed for being there. Beat them because like everybody else, they think the Florida win was a fluke but the Vandy loss was legit.

Beat them because you're better than Baylor. Beat them because you're better than Texas.

Fuck fear. Beat them because you are not scared of a soft ass defense and an offense that you will make one dimensional. Tell them to ask Tim Tebow if you get intimidated. Beat them because the Truth is scarier than the scariest nightmare Graham Harrell has ever had.

Beat them badly.

Win for Patrick Willis. Win because their was an entire class of guys who never got to do what you're about to do. Jason Cook is still there. Win for your captain, even if he's hurt.

Win because there are a hundred thousand fans who have been starved for the better part of the 21st century for an opportunity just like this.

Win.

Win and be nasty. Talk shit. Hurt people. Ruin dreams. Fuck. them. up.

Win because 91.4% of ESPN voters think you can't. Win because their fans don't think you'll keep it close. Do it because you can redeem an entire program today, and expose another in the process.

Win for all the Rebels who came before you. Win for Chucky. Win because its time. It's time.

Win.