Mulling it Over: 59 - Zilch edition

HN: Yeah we beat 'em, and we beat 'em real durn good. And I told the guys I'm proud of their heart and that helmet and all that jazz. But, Forward Rebs, really, it was just UL-M, right? I mean what can I really tell about this team after they destroyed a nobody squad with only 2 wins in the Sun Belt Conference. Look at my eyebrows, here, Forebs. Skeptical. Unsure. Bat-shit crazy. I mean throw me a bone here. I got a couple big games comin' up and I'm a little lost.

FR: Well, first off, we're honored you thought of us, Houston. And we want to assure you you've come to the right place, because honestly, we've been thinking real hard about this win, too. Secondly, we're glad you came up with a nick-name for the site. It was starting to be too much of a mouthful, you know, when we were like talking about ourselves to our friends and stuff. Forebs. We like it. Anyhoo, let's just see what we can't glean about our squad as we head into the two most anticipated weekends of the year.

• Right off the bat, Houston, I'd like to call to your attention a period of my life that is painful for me to think about. There used to be a coach at our school, ya see, who kept these little mid-season bouts with cupcakes very interesting . See even when the games weren't really close, like say a 27-7 win over the Citadel in 2005, we'd still walk out of the game and into the Grove and just feel like we had just wasted 3 hours of our lives. The games were boring. They were frustrating. They were anticlimactic. And eventually, they became non-issues to a large majority of our fanbase. I went to watch the aforementioned 38-31 win over Northwestern St. and wasn't all that surprised to find that I could just walk right on down to a seat about six rows up on the 40 yard line. There may have been 10,000 people there. I could hear the refs when they scolded players. Could hear the cheerleaders talking about the party the night before. Could hear our program in the doldrums. I sent a text message to a friend of mine that just read: "All time low" - which was itself startling considering your Razorbacks had beaten us 44-7 just two weeks before on an afternoon when daytime fireworks knocked out the electricity to our embarassingly small Mediocre-Tron. The point is this, Houston: we won by a wide margin yesterday, and whether that was because the team we were playing was worthless is simply beside the point. We made big, exciting plays. We scored bunches of points. Our players and our fans had fun. Lets just enjoy these things, because we've been kicked around recently enough to know that they aren't a given. 59-0. Check plus.

HN: Well thanks, Forebs, but I think the bigger "warm 'n fuzzy" factor here is that I got Peria to a bowl game. I mean, weren't y'all talking about these seniors last week?

FR: Don't steal my thunder, Houston. Don't be a dick, man. Come on. I was getting there. And his name's the Truth. Anyhow:

• DK. Coach, DK. He back.
• I know I don't need to tell you what this does for our defense. On a team with CBs who might make one serviceable play a game, ol' DK becomes the most important component of our schemes. Our offense is gonna move the ball. Our front seven does well against the run. But when guys like Kodi Burns and Chris Smelley can have career days against us, finding a solution to our pass defense woes is the single most important aspect of our gameplans. And DK is the answer there. Now I know he claims to be only at 85%, but "getting better" as he plays on it. I'm no doctor, Coach, but I'm pretty sure that's not how a stress fracture in your foot works. I guess what I'm saying is, if I ruled the earf, DK wouldn't have played until next week. BUT, the fact that he's back and healthy and making sacks and even INTs (?), bodes very, very well for our team. Doesn't matter that he did it against Kinsmon Lancaster. He made the Angel Timothy cry, remember? Just make sure he remembers his shoes next week. Please.

HN: That's good Frebs, but what about my offense?

• 350 yards is 350 yards, Houston. Let's not sleep on the fact that we ran for 350 yards on Saturday. There's only 60 minutes in a game, you know. I mean, did you ever play NCAA on like the super-easy mode just to try to build up those arbitrary points you got at the end of each game. Like "5 points for sacking the QB 3 times" and stuff like that. Well some of the tasks you had to try to get were just so ludicrously hard that I could never get them, even with like USC against Akron on super-easy mode. I'm pretty sure rushing for 350 yards was one of those. Again, check plus. Also, let's keep Dex back there. Run all 4 of them from the TB. I don't care if they each end up with 45 yards apiece. It works.
  

HN: I'd whip your ass at NCAA.

FR: That's enough outta you Hootie. Remind me to tell you about ol' George Teague. Anyhow

• The best part about this win is that it went just as planned. We made it through. No one got hurt. There was no drama or letdown that might cause added emotional baggage as we go into one of the most difficult venues in the nation next week. I don't know how much you know about this rivalry, bu

HN: You mean the Magnolia Bowl? What a buttarded ass name for a rivalry game.

FR: I agree but please don't interrupt, K?

• Like I was saying, this rivalry is paramount to us. It is probably the single most important three hour stretch in the Forward Rebs's calendar year. It can ruin an otherwise great 365 day span, or rectify an otherwise abysmal one. So we didn't need any distractions heading into it. Now the last time we went to Death V...

HN: Yeah listen kid the last time I was in Death Valley I got dat wood, aight. I'm audi 3000. Thanks and giggity.