Hope for Message Board R-Tards

Listen up, disheartened Spirit board nimrod. We know its been a long offseason. The hype has been heavy. The heat: unbearable.

You got egg on your face when you pulled a 180 on Hornsby, vocally defended him on the interwebs, then had to turn around and condemn him again when he got kicked off the team. It was tough, but you subsequently kept your mouth shut about Tig. Fool me once, right?

Then there was the anxiety of the car wreck. And even after that, if you've been paying attention, you've had to worry about the straight up outlandish behavior and wardrobe that xxxgr3g has put on display this summer.

Just got done tying my shoe. That's what's up.*

It all makes you long wistfully for a time not long ago, when Ole Miss had at least one mild mannered, gritty, gutty, deceptively fast player. A player with a certain quality that you couldn't quite put your finger on. There was just something about him that made him likable to you. One things for sure: It wasn't because he was white. You've got a black friend. C'mon.



At the very least, you had Bradley Sowell to look forward to this year. But Sowell could never truly be the Great Whi- uh, Gritty Hope for you, because he was highly touted from the beginning, and you don't really know much of his backstory.



But fear not, you subconciously racist dumdum. Rishaw Johnson did something to get himself demoted to second team, and his replacement was none other than this guy:

He's an underdog. He's unattractive. He's a a lighter shade of pale. What's more? Well, try to contain yourself while reading this:

"Coach Markuson calls me the American Dream. I was in JUCO, a totally different level from here, and I didn't know if I would ever get here," says Brandon.

"Now that I am here, I am going to live the dream and give them everything I have. It's a real strain on the body, but I'm hanging in there. I know a million other kids would like to be in my position, so I am not going to waste a snap.

"I grew up without a Dad and I am being molded into a man by Coach Markuson. I am very thankful for him. He does not baby me or anyone and I appreciate that. You want to give everything you have to someone like that. I will come back later in life and tell my kids that Coach Markuson was the person who made me into a man. I do not want to disappoint him or my teammates. I refuse to."

OK seriously you Spirit ritards, it's hard not to like this kid. So you've suckered me into rooting for this year's Great White Hope. He's scheduled to start against Memphis at RG, and may see time at Center if (God forbid) we have some OL injuries. Predictably, you payboard guys already have at least three threads devoted to this guy. Somewhere inside Mordor / the Ole Miss Media
Relations Department, some lackey is proposing the commercial release of Brandon Green's jersey. Trust us: the madness has only just begun surrounding this guy who, in reality, is the weak link on the weakest aspect of our team.

But for now, we're with you. We like Brandon Green too. Don't make us change our mind, kid.




*(//on a serious note, is it not a little curious that all our stars hang out together? are the role players not cool enough for you guys? D3xt3r? xxxgr3g?)

Get Together...One More Time

Too busy at work today to say much, but its all across the wire: DK will return. I'm off to round up the other Rebs in my office and we're going to youtube the Pride of the South doing From Dixie With Love, and then we'll lock arms and do the Slow Sway like we were in the South Endzone.

DK: And a Good Day to You Too, Sir?

I could think of a thousand reasons for me to leave you...

Well, believe it or not gang, Gregory "DK" Hardy is having trouble making his mind up. I know, I know. It's hard to digest. The same guy who sometimes tries, sometimes wants to embroider towellettes, sometimes forgets his shoes and sometimes knocks the dog-shit out of opposing quarterbacks is being a little indecisive.

My feeling, for what its worth (nothing), is that I'm totally cool with his decision if he decides to opt for the NFL. As much as I try to act like I think Greg Hardy is a Budweiser Leon type of guy, the truth is that I sincerely think the guy has issues. There's a difference between being self-centered and being just a little off your rocker. Anything I've read about Hardy, which admittedly is not much, suggests that the guy has deeper problems than simply not giving a damn about anything but himself.

Without going too deep into things I have only heard about his situation, I think that going to the NFL and getting out from under the influence of others who currently hold sway over him could be the absolute best thing for Greg. And if that were to happen, he could blossom into the every-down beast that he has shown flashes of being throughout his time at Ole Miss.

Vague hearsay aside, I don't think Hardy goes. Not because of some loyalty to Ole Miss or faith in the success of our 2009 season. Not because of Nutt's snake-oil salesmanship at their meeting tomorrow, either. Hardy's too off-kilter to be receptive to rah-rah stuff. No, he'll stay because in order to really cash in on this draft, he'll have to dominate in the NFL combine.

NFL scouts know full well about Hardy's behavior issues. True, the guy's never run afoul of the law or anything like that. But turning pro requires twice the dedication and provides about one fifth of the supervision / coddling. So scouts will be hesitant on him, unless he puts up a combine performance that labels him as a 'can't miss' guy. And we all know that Hardy is more than capable of turning that type of performance in. The guy's a physical freak.

The problem is he'll have to be healthy to do that. And word is that he'll need another surgery on the same ankle. This one could sideline him for as long as four months. That's long enough to miss the combine. So surgery = no combine = mid-to-late-second round pick = Hardy stays.

Of course, I'm going out on a limb to get to another limb to reach the final limb I'm out on here. But that's just how I see this thing playing out. We'll obviously have more on this situation as it develops. If he's going to declare, he's got to do it by Thursday. Stay tuned.

Tracy Rocker: And a Good Day to You, Sir

Defensive Line coach Tracy Rocker goes to Auburn. *Yaaaaaaawwwn* OK sorry. Lets talk about it.

1.) We wish him the best, and can't really blame him. He's going to his alma mater. He has family who live close to Auburn. He got offered 350,0 Wait! What?

2.) He got offered $350,000. From Auburn. To coach their defensive linemen. 2a.) Now we really can't blame him, but 2b.) what in the hell is Auburn doing? Bringing in and overpaying a bunch of exciting but largely unproven assistants does not mask the fact that the guy calling the shots really isn't that good at coaching football. Make no mistake: We would LOVE to be able to pay a position coach $350K. But if we could do that, we probably would splurge a little more on the head guy. Just sayin'.

3.) Last point: we are not losing sleep over this. Rocker's unit was dominant this year. No denying that. But it helps when you've got an All-American senior leading the group. It's not like Jerry was horrible before Rocker got here, either. The kid has been unblockable since early in the 2007 season. I remember listening to the '07 Georgia game on the radio and noticing how many times they called his name. Other people just didn't take notice because we were a terrible team with a losing record. Also, there was an even more dominant player on that defense, remember?

Greg Hardy, for the record, was much better under the Ogre than he was under Rocker. Obviously, you have to factor in injuries and other *ahem* issues. I only bring this up because unwitting Tiger fans will likely attribute Ole Miss's D-line dominance under Rocker to Hardy, because they've heard his name a few times before.

True, Lockett came into his own under Rocker. But Lockett was just a freshman in '07, and couldn't have been expected to contribute at such an early age. If someone wants to argue that Lockett's success is due to Rocker, we could counter that Powe's underwhelming season (at least relative to his initial potential) can also be attributed to Rocker. It'd be a disingenuous argument, but the point is we never do know. We'll see how Lockett develops next year under a different coach. Our guess is that he's even better.

The biggest effect this coaching change will have is this: will it influence Hardy's decision to leave or to stay. We certainly hope he stays. We'll know soon enough.

The second biggest effect, legitimately, is that it gives us a chance to post this ridiculous video that we like to call "The Truth visits the Carnie Folk." Enjoy.

The Oracle Speaketh

The Magnolia Bowl? Well, let me see...

Lot of predictions being thrown around about tomorrow's big game. Based solely on personal observation, most of the Tiger fans are calling for *gasp* an LSU win, albeit by small margins. Apparently the Kool-Aid runneth over this week for Rebel fans, as the majority believe *gasp* Ole Miss will win by a substantial margin. But the Oracle cares not for these predictions. She told you not to eat the red pills. She tells you now not to drink the red Kool-Aid. Take it away, Big O.

Oracle: Well well well. This really is a paradox, young ones. Lets play a little game before I get started: The team I'm picking has a young, turnover prone quarterback. They have a highly touted offensive line. They have a very productive running attack. They have a monster at defensive tackle. They are vulnerable against the pass. And, child, they have at least one headcase that will be the deciding factor. Now, are you weeping? Are you smiling? Of course you are.

Understand that these teams have much in common. Much in common. We'll have to look a little closer to figure this one out.

When Ole Miss has the ball: Do you remember, child, the first two drives of the South Carolina game? When Bolden and Eason ran wild through gaps as wide as Jackson Avenue? Yes, I see a strong start for the ground game this time around, too. The Tigers will come out emotionally spent from the past two adrenaline draining games, flat from the atmosphere of Senior Day, and the Rebels will score a touchdown on the opening drive.

I see Jevan coming out crisp. I see Shay with a big catch early. But things will get tougher from there. Just as Jevan is finding his groove, Lester will discover that pressure is the key to stopping Ole Miss. He'll send six at a time at the quarterback, and the Rebel OL will begin to buckle.

To counter, Houston will try the Wild Rebel for two series in the second quarter, to decidedly bad results. The second half will depend upon how well Ole Miss can hold off the pass rush. Look for a screen to Bolden for a big gain. I see the freshman shining in front of a hometown crowd. I see him with two TDs. I see two costly turnovers for the team.

Born on the Bayou

When LSU has the ball: Remember, child, when I told you Ole Miss would score on the opening drive? Well this does not bode well early for the Tigers. Lester will want to run the score up early, and will foolishly test the Rebels deep. I see a deep drive, but a costly interception for Jarret Lee. He hears too much, child. He hears the boos. He sees the things they write. He sees Peria, too. Peria will be foremost in his mind.

My head ain't filled with nothing but cats and rockin' chairs

Nonetheless, the speedster Byrd will be too much for the Ole Miss secondary to contain. He'll have a touchdown. And Lee will finish with 200 yards.

He'll have enough big completions in the first half to loosen up the box for Charles Scott. I see big things for Mr. Scott, child. Big things. 150 yards types of things. Two TDs types of things. I see three turnovers for the Tigers. The last of which is crucial.

And in the end: I see the troubled one, the one you call DK, he will make a crucial stop on the last drive as LSU tries to take the lead for the first time all game. He jars the ball from Lee's hands as chemically-imbalanced meets emotionally unstable. I see the kicker Shene tacking on insurance points in the last minute of the game. I see the Rebels leaving victorious, 31-24. And when this happens, young one, Kentrell Lockett will establish the Magnolia Bowl's first mini-tradition. He will run to the Ole Miss section with the newly created trophy and go Happy Gilmore with it, placing it to his pelvis and thrusting wildly. The crowd will go wild. He will, indeed, have that wood.

Mulling it Over: 59 - Zilch edition

HN: Yeah we beat 'em, and we beat 'em real durn good. And I told the guys I'm proud of their heart and that helmet and all that jazz. But, Forward Rebs, really, it was just UL-M, right? I mean what can I really tell about this team after they destroyed a nobody squad with only 2 wins in the Sun Belt Conference. Look at my eyebrows, here, Forebs. Skeptical. Unsure. Bat-shit crazy. I mean throw me a bone here. I got a couple big games comin' up and I'm a little lost.

FR: Well, first off, we're honored you thought of us, Houston. And we want to assure you you've come to the right place, because honestly, we've been thinking real hard about this win, too. Secondly, we're glad you came up with a nick-name for the site. It was starting to be too much of a mouthful, you know, when we were like talking about ourselves to our friends and stuff. Forebs. We like it. Anyhoo, let's just see what we can't glean about our squad as we head into the two most anticipated weekends of the year.

• Right off the bat, Houston, I'd like to call to your attention a period of my life that is painful for me to think about. There used to be a coach at our school, ya see, who kept these little mid-season bouts with cupcakes very interesting . See even when the games weren't really close, like say a 27-7 win over the Citadel in 2005, we'd still walk out of the game and into the Grove and just feel like we had just wasted 3 hours of our lives. The games were boring. They were frustrating. They were anticlimactic. And eventually, they became non-issues to a large majority of our fanbase. I went to watch the aforementioned 38-31 win over Northwestern St. and wasn't all that surprised to find that I could just walk right on down to a seat about six rows up on the 40 yard line. There may have been 10,000 people there. I could hear the refs when they scolded players. Could hear the cheerleaders talking about the party the night before. Could hear our program in the doldrums. I sent a text message to a friend of mine that just read: "All time low" - which was itself startling considering your Razorbacks had beaten us 44-7 just two weeks before on an afternoon when daytime fireworks knocked out the electricity to our embarassingly small Mediocre-Tron. The point is this, Houston: we won by a wide margin yesterday, and whether that was because the team we were playing was worthless is simply beside the point. We made big, exciting plays. We scored bunches of points. Our players and our fans had fun. Lets just enjoy these things, because we've been kicked around recently enough to know that they aren't a given. 59-0. Check plus.

HN: Well thanks, Forebs, but I think the bigger "warm 'n fuzzy" factor here is that I got Peria to a bowl game. I mean, weren't y'all talking about these seniors last week?

FR: Don't steal my thunder, Houston. Don't be a dick, man. Come on. I was getting there. And his name's the Truth. Anyhow:

• DK. Coach, DK. He back.
• I know I don't need to tell you what this does for our defense. On a team with CBs who might make one serviceable play a game, ol' DK becomes the most important component of our schemes. Our offense is gonna move the ball. Our front seven does well against the run. But when guys like Kodi Burns and Chris Smelley can have career days against us, finding a solution to our pass defense woes is the single most important aspect of our gameplans. And DK is the answer there. Now I know he claims to be only at 85%, but "getting better" as he plays on it. I'm no doctor, Coach, but I'm pretty sure that's not how a stress fracture in your foot works. I guess what I'm saying is, if I ruled the earf, DK wouldn't have played until next week. BUT, the fact that he's back and healthy and making sacks and even INTs (?), bodes very, very well for our team. Doesn't matter that he did it against Kinsmon Lancaster. He made the Angel Timothy cry, remember? Just make sure he remembers his shoes next week. Please.

HN: That's good Frebs, but what about my offense?

• 350 yards is 350 yards, Houston. Let's not sleep on the fact that we ran for 350 yards on Saturday. There's only 60 minutes in a game, you know. I mean, did you ever play NCAA on like the super-easy mode just to try to build up those arbitrary points you got at the end of each game. Like "5 points for sacking the QB 3 times" and stuff like that. Well some of the tasks you had to try to get were just so ludicrously hard that I could never get them, even with like USC against Akron on super-easy mode. I'm pretty sure rushing for 350 yards was one of those. Again, check plus. Also, let's keep Dex back there. Run all 4 of them from the TB. I don't care if they each end up with 45 yards apiece. It works.
  

HN: I'd whip your ass at NCAA.

FR: That's enough outta you Hootie. Remind me to tell you about ol' George Teague. Anyhow

• The best part about this win is that it went just as planned. We made it through. No one got hurt. There was no drama or letdown that might cause added emotional baggage as we go into one of the most difficult venues in the nation next week. I don't know how much you know about this rivalry, bu

HN: You mean the Magnolia Bowl? What a buttarded ass name for a rivalry game.

FR: I agree but please don't interrupt, K?

• Like I was saying, this rivalry is paramount to us. It is probably the single most important three hour stretch in the Forward Rebs's calendar year. It can ruin an otherwise great 365 day span, or rectify an otherwise abysmal one. So we didn't need any distractions heading into it. Now the last time we went to Death V...

HN: Yeah listen kid the last time I was in Death Valley I got dat wood, aight. I'm audi 3000. Thanks and giggity.